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The intersection of ratchet is reason
056 Tyree’s Black Christmas Vacation
May 02, 2012 10:47 PM PDT
Tyree Hudson joins the show to discuss his trip to NBA All Star Weekend in Orlando. Topics include “no touching allowed” strip clubs, challenges in procuring a one-night stands when surrounded byNBA players and why Orlando is a horrible place that you should never, ever visit. As bokeen becomes chaotically intoxicated, the conversation meanders to topics like daylight saving time and advanced misogyny.
Follow Tyree on Twitter: @tyreehudson055 Hatecast IV: Black Christmas edition
May 02, 2012 10:35 PM PDT
Rodimus Prime from “The Black Guy Who Tips” podcast joins bokeen for a special Hatecast. To celebrate Black Christmas – NBA All Star Weekend – we discuss the NBA Players that we hate the most. We chat about Shawn Marion’s ego, Carmelo Anthony’s selfishness and Karl Malone’s hatred before focusing on despicable white players, such as meth head Chris “Birdman” Anderson, Steve “Bitch Made” Nash and Danny “Ain’t Shit” Ainge. Even legends aren’t safe, as Rod expresses his hatred of both Larry “Aryan Nation” Bird and Michael “You Gonna Finish Those French Fries?” Jordan.054 Meeting people is easy
May 02, 2012 10:27 PM PDT
Bri from Marvelous Mind Radio joins the show to discuss strategies single folks can use to meet other single people to bump, grind and possible take home to mama. bokeen and Bri debate the value of online dating and dismiss the notion of meeting random people in public. In addition, Bri offers some clichéd but valuable advice about dating and bokeen rants about parallel parking.053 Hatecast III
May 02, 2012 10:23 PM PDT
To commemorate the one year anniversary of Consumption Junction, Tyler Conium makes his triumphant return to the show. bokeen and Tyler take turns ranting about things that they hate. Tyler discusses how media hype can make a story unenjoyable, activism and “slacktivism,” and uninformed opinions. bokeen focuses his hatred toward much more superficial things, such as Justin Bieber haters, oversized sunglasses and lower body cleavage, including ass cracks.
Follow Tyler on Twitter: @tylerconium052 Race trades part II: Making the world a better place
May 02, 2012 10:21 PM PDT
The cast of “The Black Guy Who Tips Podcast” joins bokeen for another round of Race Trades, inspired by the classic “Racial Draft” skit from Chapelle’s Show. The Black Delegation of Rod and Karen negotiate with the bokeen-led White Delegation to swap blacks for whites, with the intent of bettering the human race.
Once again, the race trades dramatically changed the world as we know it. Madonna, Ben Stiller and Nicolas Cage are currently adjusting to their new status as African Americans, while Wesley Snipes, Ice Cube and Jada Fire have been welcomed to White America with open arms.051 For our listeners, by our listeners, part IV: bokeen apologizes!?!
May 02, 2012 10:10 PM PDT
Once again, bokeen is in rare form during a feedback episode, this time delivering an extraordinarily rare apology to his Twitter followers. Then, he responds to listener comments, email and voicemails, and proposes an idea for a drunken excursion later this year. Of course, several ratchet voicemails from Chill are featured.050 Confessions of a black NASCAR fan
May 02, 2012 10:05 PM PDT
While the show has covered extinction in the past, this episode touches on a species that bokeen didn’t know existed: black NASCAR fans. Kareem from Sports, Sex and Sneakers joins the show to discuss his appreciating for auto racing, why NASCAR is much more than dudes driving around in circles, and how his enjoyment of NASCAR transcends racial stereotypes and allows him to connect with people he otherwise might not have anything in common with. Also, bokeen rants about painting his bedroom.049 bokeen’s Vegas adventure
May 02, 2012 10:01 PM PDT
Shirley Huang, Esquire joins the show as bokeen recaps his recent business trip to Las Vegas. We discuss the depressing vibe that permeates Vegas, the unnecessary presence of hookers, enjoying the benefits of an open bar, interacting with a bitch-made dude and intimidating fellow travelers. In addition, bokeen explains the importance of treating a coworker like his prison bitch.048 Eating healthy while travelling
May 02, 2012 08:57 PM PDT
Health correspondent The Rob Show joins the show to advise bokeen in advance of his trip to Vegas next week. After dieting in a successful effort to lose weight and maximize his sexiness, bokeen is concerned about eating while on the road. Should he just say "fuck it" and temporarily abandon the diet? What are the best strategies when dining out with coworkers? Are there any fast food decisions that aren’t designed specifically for the obese? Rob answers all of these questions and many more in this short, scientific episode of Consumption Junction.
Follow The Rob Show on Twitter: @therobshow
047 The single folks struggle
May 02, 2012 08:51 PM PDT
Newly-single bokeen is joined by the perpetually-single CC to discuss the trials and tribulations of the Chicago dating scene. A morose cast of characters is featured in this episode, including Bloody Tampon Chick, Poop Pants Guy, Toilet Clogger Guy, Overly Affectionate Guy/Line Guy, and Christian Chick. bokeen also explains his newfound ability to make interesting women completely vanish.046 Does the sports media favor white athletes?
May 02, 2012 08:48 PM PDT
Rodimus Prime and Evan Barnes join the show to discuss the sports media’s attitudes towards race. The discussion begins with a debate about whether Steve Nash deserved his two MVP awards. We also discuss the media’s raging hardon for the whitest black quarterback ever, Tim Tebow, and white college basketball stars such as Adam Morrison and Jimmer Fredette. The conversation concludes with an analysis of Bill Simmons’ latent disrespect for black athletes.045 For our listeners, by our listeners, part III: Chillmatic
May 02, 2012 08:35 PM PDT
bokeen begins the episode by getting all emotional and shit, and explaining how the show will be changing moving forward. Then, he responds to listener feedback, including comments, emails, and a serious of hilarious voicemail messages from his new favorite listener.044 Extinction Level Event
May 02, 2012 10:07 PM PDT
The world’s baddest influence, Tyree Hudson, joins the show to discuss the concept of extinction. We discuss the extinction of animals and other things that aren’t exactly "living," like oil, retirement, newspapers and cursive handwriting.
Also, mizChartreuse’s stance on extinction surprises the fuck out of bokeen, and Tyree Hudson announces a major project that he is working on for release in 2012.
Follow Tyree on Twitter: @tyreehudsonbokeen’s Ratchetclass: The NBA is back!
May 02, 2012 08:27 PM PDT
Tyler Conium and Rodimus Prime join the first episode of bokeen’s solo podcasting project to commemorate the end of the NBA lockout. We begin by arguing about whether the players or owners were at fault for the lockout, and discussing if the lockout left each of us salty. Next, we talk about how the time off will affect the conditioning of the players and the impending madness of a condensed free agency period complete with an amnesty clause. We close the show giving our outlook for each NBA team, while cracking jokes along the way. 30 teams multiplied by three dudes equals over 90 jokes. There is no better value in podcasting.043 Thankfulcast
May 02, 2012 08:24 PM PDT
To commemorate the Thanksgiving holiday, bokeen ate a few Xanax in order to dial the ratchetness down a bit as we discuss the things that we are thankful for. mizChartreuse waxes poetic about overcoming challenges (she just ran an 8K) and her ethereal experiences in Chicago. bokeen reflects on being in an interracial relationship and the state of the music business.
In addition, bokeen made his predictions of what albums the elderly twats at the National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences will nominate for Best Rap Album later this week:
"Watch the Throne" by Jay-Z and Kanye West
May 02, 2012 08:16 PM PDT
Our official health correspondent The Rob Show joins the show to talk about how he lost 400 pounds and answer our questions about allergies. What exactly are allergies? Why are so many people suddenly allergic to peanuts? Are people who are allergic to gluten actually just pussies? Does the fact that people are allergic to grass mean that we have devolved as a species? Rob answers all of these questions and compares one’s immune system to Nazi Germany in this educational episode of Consumption Junction.
Follow The Rob Show on Twitter: @therobshow
041 For our listeners, by our listeners, part II
May 02, 2012 08:13 PM PDT
In part two of our first ever feedback show, we talk about bokeen’s racist comments, the Klout hustle, social media etiquette, asshole from the north side of Chicago, why the n-word is the king of all slurs, and, our course, Oprah. We wrap up the show with a look at how race factors into the rise of both Herman Cain and Tim Tebow, and mizChartreuse brings bokeen to tears by bringing up the NBA lockout.040 Cleanin’ out our closet: For our listeners, by our listeners, part I
May 02, 2012 08:02 PM PDT
In our first ever feedback show, we respond to questions and comments from our loyal listeners, the Consumption Junkies. We talk about the reaction to our Race Trades episode, the planning and production process for shows, maintaining a balance between ratchet and reason, shows that were never published and Bill Cosby. Also, bokeen reveals the humiliating origin of his nickname.
We didn’t get through all of the emails, comments and voicemails that came in, so look for part two in the next few days.039 Social media: the good, the bad and the ugly, part II
May 02, 2012 07:49 PM PDT
The Torontula Tyler Conium joins us to finish our discussion about the good, bad and ugly elements of social media. We talk about the organic growth of social networks, Foursquare and its implications for serial killers, posting across multiple networks, privacy concerns, feeling obligated to respond to folks, the black art of subtweeting and sharing experiences by livetweeting during an event. Also, bokeen starts beef with Micronesia.
Follow Tyler on Twitter: @tylerconium
038 Social media: the good, the bad and the ugly
May 02, 2012 07:43 PM PDT
Tyler Conium joins the show as we talk about the good, bad and ugly elements of social networking. We begin by discussing Klout scores and why they are an irrelevant measure of popularity that makes Twitter like high school. We also chat about relentless self-promoters, the inherent desperation in tweeting at celebrities, and the unwelcome appearance of Mittens Romney in bokeen’s "Who to Follow" list.
We failed to reach a consensus that any of these elements were "good," so we plan to have Tyler back on soon to continue the conversation.
Follow Tyler on Twitter: @tylerconium
037 Ignorance in hip-hop and assorted ratchetness, part II
May 02, 2012 07:38 PM PDT
We wrap up our conversation with Rod and Karen from “The Black Guy Who Tips Podcast” about hip-hop ignorance by talking about Lil Wayne’s rapid, stunning descent into complete wackness. We also discuss a variety of other topics, including the proper etiquette for wearing chicken wing necklaces, positive rappers, black cowboys, black empowerment and crystal meth, suggestion rape, Jack Bauer’s Rick Ross conundrum and the Podcaster’s Underground Railroad.
The Black Guy Who Tips Podcast is hosted by Rodimus Prime and Karen. Their podcast is excellent because they are the illest podcasters alive.036 Ignorance in hip-hop and assorted ratchetness, part I
May 02, 2012 07:34 PM PDT
Rod and Karen from “The Black Guy Who Tips Podcast” join us to talk about ignorant hip-hop artists and, as expected, the conversation meandered a bit. In addition discussing Rick Ross, Young Jeezy and their ilk, we also chatted about ghetto rappers with college educations, Devin Hester’s abnormally low IQ, Dr. Dre’s former career as a homosexual DJ, the murder of Eazy-E, the importance of dicks in pornos and the most feared member of the Bloods street gang, Drake.
The Black Guy Who Tips Podcast is hosted by Rodimus Prime and Karen. Their podcast is excellent, thanks to their unwavering faith in the exalted quarterback of divinity, Tim Tebow.035 Let Herm Cook!
May 02, 2012 07:30 PM PDT
The cast of “The Black Guy Who Tips Podcast” joins us to talk about the 74 Republican presidential debates that have been held in the last six weeks. We discuss Rod’s fascination with the “adorable” Herman Cain, the GOP’s large cast of clowns, and white voters’ attitudes towards black and taupe-colored politicians. Also, Rod uses the n-word with reckless abandon.
Oddly enough, we didn’t even intend to talk about Herm. We were planning to talk about hip-hop. Our next episode will touch on that topic and other assorted ratchetness.
The Black Guy Who Tips Podcast is hosted by Rodimus Prime and Karen. Their podcast is excellent, despite Herm’s blatant refusal to grant an interview.034 Distorting and manipulating our language
May 02, 2012 07:23 PM PDT
We discuss our how language is manipulated to evoke specific emotional reactions. “Islamists” are “terrorists”, and words like “patriotism,” “freedom” and “democracy” are utterly meaningless. Welcome to 1984, where “War is Peace, Freedom is Slavery and Ignorance is Strength.”033 Occupy Wall Street: a journalist’s perspective
May 02, 2012 07:22 PM PDT
Photojournalist Jackie Snow joins us to talk about the occupation of Wall Street. She offers her objective opinions as a journalist, commenting on the movement’s efforts to develop a singular demand, the demographic breakdown of the protestors, and the overall vibe of the occupation.032 Occupy Wall Street: an activist’s perspective
May 02, 2012 07:20 PM PDT
For 11 days, protesters have occupied Wall Street and have largely been ignored by the media. Activist Brett Chamberlin joins us from New York to discuss the purpose of the Occupy Wall Street movement, NYPD brutality, the spread of the movement and how you can get involved. mizChartreuse also recounts her experience with the Occupy Chicago movement.
Occupy Wall Street describes itself as a “leaderless resistance movement with people of many colors, genders and political persuasions. The one thing we all have in common is that We Are The 99% that will no longer tolerate the greed and corruption of the 1%.” Find out more at occupywallst.org.
Follow Brett on Twitter: @brettchamberlin031 What were we thinking? Part II
May 02, 2012 06:51 PM PDT
In part two of this episode, our walk down memory lane takes a swift turn to the ratchet. Tyler Conium joins us to talk about Taco Bell induced illness, Lamar Odom’s poor taste in food and women, Abba Zabba, sticks of cow butthole meat, Saved by the Bell and overalls. bokeen and Tyler also gush over the upcoming premiere of Terra fucking Nova.
Follow Tyler on Twitter: @tylerconium
030 What were we thinking? Part I
May 02, 2012 06:48 PM PDT
Tyler Conium joins the show as we discuss things that we liked when we were younger that make us look back as ask, “What the fuck were we thinking?” Naturally, we begin with alcohol-related stories before discussing music, TV shows, food and fads. In the first half of this episode, we touch on underage drinking, Tyler’s dream of being a wigger, mizChartreuse’s dream of being a pop star, bokeen’s dream of not being a fucking nerd, the profound influence that “Achy Breaky Heart” had on Africa, and Master P’s innovation in the field of hip-hop ignorance.
The podcast takes a more serious turn as we discuss the execution of Troy Davis and social media users’ short attention span for serious topics.
Follow Tyler on Twitter: @tylerconium029 Why are white folks obsessed with the ‘n’ word?
May 02, 2012 06:46 PM PDT
The N-word: a weighty term with several different connotations, depending on who uses it and with what intention. We discuss why white folk want to use it (i.e. Alec Baldwin, a newly minted member of the Black Delegation; see our “Race trades” episode), the issues with other non-whites’ misappropriation of it (are Mexicans and blacks truly in solidarity?), and how African-Americans’ opinions differ on the matter (Jay-Z versus Oprah Winfrey).028 Race Trades
March 13, 2012 09:28 PM PDT
The cast of “The Black Guy Who Tips Podcast” joins us for an episode inspired by the classic “Racial Draft” skit from Chapelle’s Show. The Black Delegation and The White Delegation propose a series of trades designed to make each race better, and to unload some dead weight that is dragging down their respective races. Not all trades were approved, however, as The Black Delegation was unwilling to part with Denzel Washington and simply refused to take on George W. Bush.
However, several trades were completed that radically change America as we know it. Anderson Cooper, Heidi Klum and Alec Baldwin are now officially black, while White America welcomes Lenny Kravitz, Shaquille O’Neal and Eddie Murphy by providing admission to the country club.027 If I knew then what I know now…
March 13, 2012 09:12 PM PDT
If you knew back then what you know now, what would you tell your younger self? The cantankerous Canadian Tyler Conium joins us to discuss life’s lessons and things one can only learn through experience.
Have you matured since high school? Would you have busted your ass so hard in AP Calculus junior year? Would you have spent $100,000 on a “business degree” when people’s interests are liable to change in their mid to late twenties? These are questions worth asking, and we delve into the depths. What TRULY matters? From schooling to religion; relationships to independence, we examine life as a youth and how one can live their best life while on this interesting roller coaster ride.
Follow Tyler on Twitter: @tylerconium026 Talmbout brand loyalty
March 13, 2012 09:09 PM PDT
When does the desire to belong cross the dangerous line into groupthink? Do Abercrombie-donning junior high students honestly believe they are superior? Canadian guest Tyler Conium (who is receiving a star on the Consumption Junction Walk of Fame) joins the show once again for an entertaining conversation on the concept of brand loyalty. From Apple innovations to designer tampons; ketchup styles to cosmetic brands, many people have products by which they swear. But are you #teamiPhone fo’ lyfe? We compare fandom to religion, deconstruct the hipster phenomenon, and touch on selling out – what’s YOUR price?
Follow Tyler on Twitter: @tylerconium025 When bokeen met mizChartreuse
March 13, 2012 09:07 PM PDT
To celebrate our 25th episode, we tell the story of how we met. This is a tale fraught with drama, marijuana, property damage, social media networks, interracial matchmaking, credit scores, pancakes, defamation of character, AOL Instant Messenger breakups, and a case of Miller Lite.024 What do you want to be when you grow up?
March 13, 2012 09:05 PM PDT
We explore our childhood career aspirations, and how they impact our adult lives and reflect who we have become. We also reach the conclusion that being an astronaut would suck.022 Underrated/Overrated
March 13, 2012 08:59 PM PDT
In our second live broadcast, we apply the labels "overrated" and "underrated" to various aspects of modern life. mizChartreuse explores the dualities of self-identification and groupthink, while bokeen muses about pizza and Swiffer Sweepers.021 Working in food servitude
March 13, 2012 08:57 PM PDT
mizChartreuse and bokeen discuss how dining out transforms people into needy babies. This live show includes real-time audience feedback and excerpts from Debra Ginsberg’s "Waiting." Men: never ask your server if she wants your sugar daddy services.020 Mindless entertainment: The deliberate dumbing down of society
March 13, 2012 08:55 PM PDT
Our favorite guest Ty-Con joins us to discuss why society is just plain awful. We chat about our collective obsession with mindless entertainment/ratchetness/delusions of grandeur, including "Basketball Wives" and Twitter’s bastard brother, Klout.
Follow Tyler on Twitter: @tylerconium019 The hatecast II: Things that need to go away by Bill Cosby’s birthday
March 13, 2012 08:52 PM PDT
In the second entry into our Hatecast series, we cover topics such as junk mail, white Jesus, Mormonism, Geico commercials and black broads who dye their hair blonde. Also, mizChartreuse tells the story of her birthday skydiving adventure and mourns Oprah’s exit from daytime television.018 White Boy Crazy
March 13, 2012 08:50 PM PDT
Author Nina Perez joins the podcast for a more-buzzed second round of racially offensive humor, and Nina explains her White Boy Crazy gene theory: the tendency of "normal" white males to snap and lose their fucking minds with violent consequences.017 Nina Perez on writing and black excellence
March 13, 2012 08:47 PM PDT
We finally recorded a growed-up podcast episode! Author Nina Perez joins the show to talk about the inspiration behind her book, "The Twin Propechies: Rebirth," the self-publishing process and the beauty of printing on demand.
016 Southwest Airlines ate my balls, part II
March 13, 2012 08:28 PM PDT
Continuing a theme from the pilot episode of the podcast, bokeen bitches about his recent all-expense-paid trip to Las Vegas. Topics include “rustic” flight attendants, old people smell, white trash in Phoenix, Mexicans and skeezy Vegas hookers.015 Sideshow Barack and the Donald Trump circus
March 13, 2012 08:25 PM PDT
We discuss the absurd freakshow surrounding the Holy Grail of the USA, Barack Obama’s birth certificate. We also reveal why many Americans will continue to believe that he is a Nazi child molester who is BFFs with bin Laden.014 Talmbout stereotypes
March 13, 2012 08:21 PM PDT
Why do black people love chicken? Why do white people smell like wet dogs? Why are Asians terrible drivers? Kristy Tillman joins the cypher to discuss stereotypes in the most racist episode of the podcast to date. We also take turns answering the age-old question, “Which Cosby character are you?”
Follow Kristy on Twitter: @digitalmiss013 Confessions of a (former) Ed Hardy douchebag
March 13, 2012 08:16 PM PDT
Our official suburban correspondent and tattoo enthusiast Nick joins us to talk about his addiction to Ed Hardy gear, how douchebags hijacked his look, and how he was cured of his Ed Hardy dependence through the power of Jesus Christ.012 The hatecast
March 13, 2012 08:14 PM PDT
Your pleasant hosts bitch about the things that grind our gears. Topics include ineptitude at the self checkout line, the needy and the greedy, inefficiencies in procuring booze, guilty trips, celebrity worship and the Chicago Police.011 Talmbout coonery
March 13, 2012 08:01 PM PDT
Why do many successful black male entertainers end up in dresses? Philly native Tyree Hudson joins the podcast to examine modern-day coonery and buffoonery in American entertainment, while also highlighting examples of black excellence in the media.
Since the inception of visual American media, blacks have been primarily typecast as Toms, Coons, Mulattoes, Mammies, Bucks, Jezebels, Sapphires, etc.
"Before its death, the coon developed into the most blatantly degrading of all black stereotypes. The pure coons emerged as no-account niggers, those unreliable, crazy, lazy, subhuman creatures good for nothing more than eating watermelons, stealing chickens, shooting crap, or butchering the English language." - cinema historian David Bogle, from his book "Toms, Coons, Mulattoes, Mammies and Bucks: An Interpretive History of Blacks in American Films."
Follow Tyree on Twitter: @tyreehudson010 Alcohol is made of awesome, part II
March 13, 2012 06:43 PM PDT
In the riveting conclusion of our very special St. Patrick’s Day podcast, we continue to share ratchet drunken stories with frequent guest Tyler Conium. Highlights include stories involving contraband, and mizChartreuse’s emotional abuse of bokeen.009 Alcohol is made of awesome, part I
March 13, 2012 06:39 PM PDT
In a very special episode of the podcast, we celebrate St. Patrick’s Day by discussing some of our finest and most entertaining drunken stories. Frequent guests Tyler Conium and The Glenlivet offer their contributions.
Follow Tyler on Twitter: @tylerconium008 Sports jerseys on adults? No.
March 13, 2012 06:26 PM PDT
While discussing when it is appropriate for adults to wear sports jerseys (SPOILER ALERT: never), we arrive at a surprising conclusion: hockey is the exact opposite of chicken.007 Donald Trump for President?
March 13, 2012 06:23 PM PDT
The cantankerous Canadian Tyler Conium joins the podcast to spew anti-American rhetoric as we discuss Donald Trump’s presidential aspirations, the media’s power to shape voters’ minds, fear of a Palin-led world and the impending apocalypse.
Follow Tyler on Twitter: @tylerconium006 Charlie Sheen: Winning. Mormons: Losing their fucking minds.
March 13, 2012 06:20 PM PDT
After an obligatory tribute to Charlie Sheen (and a signature bokeen rant about insipid Americans), we discuss the absurdity of Brandon Davies’ banishment from BYU’s basketball team as punishment for boning his girlfriend.
CORRECTION: In this episode, bokeen noted that the population of Provo, Utah is four percent black. This number is grossly innacurate; less than one percent of Provo residents are black.005 The triflin’ Man be takin’ my money
March 13, 2012 06:18 PM PDT
Whether it is utility provider, banks, or one’s own employer, American businesses have a habit of charging absurd and often inexplicable fees as a means to fatten their already obese wallets. We respond with an emphatic, "Fuck outta heah!"004 That ain't real food
March 13, 2012 06:10 PM PDT
A chat about the food-like substances served at chain restaurants and the marketing used to motivate you dumb bastards to buy them. Topics include Taco Bell’s infamous ground meat slop and Subway’s egregious misuse of the term “fresh.”003 Change: Get over it, bitch!
March 13, 2012 06:08 PM PDT
Tyler Conium joins the show to discuss people’s irrational rejection of technological change. Topics include the Amazon Kindle, Netflix, interwebs access, Canadian supremacy, and that talking computer thing that was on “Jeopardy!”
Follow Tyler on Twitter: @tylerconium002 The Grammys don’t care about black people
March 13, 2012 06:04 PM PDT
Also: Rihanna is a clown! Drake’s loss is America’s win! Justin Bieber is the truth! Jennifer Hudson wears dollar store weave! Lady Antebellum hearts slavery!001 Southwest Airlines ate my balls
March 13, 2012 06:00 PM PDT
In the pilot episode of the Consumption Junction podcast, bokeen bitches and moans about a recent experience flying on Southwest Airlines, and explains why he prefers "grown-up" airlines.
The alcohol-fueled podcast.
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